Orlando Day 2

So I arrived in Orlando yesterday afternoon after a two day road trip from Austin. I made pretty good time and the trip actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be thanks to a little help from Eminem, Celine Dione, and a few other artists. It's strange to be here not as a vacationer but as a new resident who will be living here for the next two years. I am secretly already counting down until I'm done with the program. I think I just have a lot of pre-school jitters. I mean this is a lot different from when I went to undergrad to TX, which I am unfortunately just now realizing. When I went to UT as a freshman, granted I didn't know anyone, but I was living in a dorm on campus immersed in the "freshman experience". Between this and having a cool roommate, I was able to make friends rather friendly. This grad school thing, however, is a completely different experience. I'm not moving into a dorm (in fact I'm about 15-20 minutes away from campus), and I don't have class every day, nor will there be a welcome event similar to that of the freshman one. Mix that with the fact that I am completely alone in my apt waiting for my furniture to arrive and with too much time on my hands and you have yourself a recipe for disaster.

I know that when I look back on this moment, I'll hopefully feel really grateful that I took a chance and got out of my comfort zone. Until then I will be counting down the days until I see a familiar face.

Everything's Changing

I've come to realize that I downplay things. A lot. For instance, I am starting graduate school this fall and packing up and moving to FL. Everyone around me seems to think it's a big deal but for some reason it either hasn't hit me, or I am trying to trick myself into not making a big deal about it. I mean, I will have a masters degree by the time I'm 24. That's quite an achievement. But it seems like it's a regular occurrence to me. Something that you are supposed to do. I guess that's the blessing and curse of having a mother who has several masters degrees and a dad that has a Ph.D along with friends who are heading off to graduate schools across the country. It brings new meaning to the saying, "Watch the company you keep." When you have ambitious and successful friends that help motivate you will it ever be enough though? What is it that we're chasing out of life?

Today I finished packing up my apartment. It was funny to see all that I had collected over the years here in Austin. It was also interesting to see what things I'd kept that had no value other than memories and sentimental value. While packing I hadn't realized how much I enjoyed living here. Aside from attending one of the best universities that will always have a special place in my heart, Austin will also hold a special place as well. It's funny how much I took for granted. The little things like going for a run at Town Lake, or never being shocked by anything I saw downtown or anywhere in the city. The range of things to do, the liberalness of the city, and tons of other things. I forget that this has been my home for four years and now I'm leaving and headed to another home to make new memories. It's funny to think that this time last year I was so ready to get out of the miserable heat and routine of Austin. But now I find myself getting slightly sentimental when I think of all the people I'll leave behind and how I'll have to make new friends in FL. But I know that it is yet another adventure that is sure to bring with it challenges and laughs along the way.

Moments to Live For

As of late, I have found myself constantly counting down to something or wishing time would speed up. Wishing I could wake up and it would be August. Hoping the semester goes by quickly. Counting down until Christmas. Counting down until May when I will be halfway through my program. Forever counting down to something and then finding something else to count down to. All this counting down has caused me to lose sight of the present.

I remember in a class I had where one of the students did a project where she got input from people on reasons to live or things to live for. It made me think of my own moments that have made life worth living for. So I decided I would jot some of them down here. Enjoy :)

The feeling of cool bed sheets.

The calmness of the early morning.

Laughing so hard you snort, cry, and your abs are sore.

Making eye contact with your special someone from across the room.

The awkward moment before a first kiss.

The joy of Christmas morning.

A night on the town with my girls.

Drunk texts from your crazy best friends.

Riding the DC metro while listening to my ipod.

Going home.

The taste of REAL southern sweet tea.

Seeing an item you've been wanting on sale!

Driving at night with all of the windows down.

The smell and sound of the ocean.

Witnessing a miracle.

Puppies

The unconditional love of my dogs.

Conquering your fears.

Using a GRE word in a sentence correctly.

The smell of fall.

Watching the snow fall.

Driving through the back roads of Virginia in the middle of October when the all the leaves are changing colors.

Inside jokes.

Successfully cooking something you've never made before.

Times Square at night.

UT football games.

The feeling of sand between your toes.

Experiencing something new.

Calm silence.

Catching lightning bugs in the summer.

Movie nights with my brother.

Game nights with my family.

Fresh baguettes.

Deep and intimate conversations.

Walking through the streets of Paris and hearing an impromptu concert by a violinist.

The excitement of traveling to a different country.

Chocolate covered strawberries.

Long runs.

Massages.

The smell of rain.

A good cry.

The smell of lavender and vanilla.

Waking up to the smell of fresh baked cinnamon rolls.

Finding a passage in the Bible that speaks to you and tugs at your heart.

Movies with happy endings.

Seeing a shooting star.

Seeing a solar/lunar eclipse.

Making a bucket list and checking off things as you do them.

Snuggling up in a blanket fresh out of the dryer.

Knowing that you mean something to somebody.

LDR's

LDR=Long Distance Relationship (for those that don't know). In any case, today is the official Day 1 of me being in a LDR, although I kicked it off last night by consuming a bottle of wine, visiting an upstairs neighbor and watching Titanic, then taking a trip to a 24-hr diner followed by my passing out as soon as I got home. To make matters worse, my best friend who would normally be here to console or drink with me left this week as well. Talk about terrible timing. Anywho, as soon as she left I quickly sent her a text seeking moral support. She was very positive in her outlook and suggested that I pick up a hobby. It was a great idea. I haven't had anything to do really since returning from London and have several weeks until I move to FL. So why not find something to distract me. So what would I do?

Well me not being able to think of anything other than reading or knitting (which is not my strong point and there's no point of knitting a sweater when it's 90º outside) I went to the source of all answers. Bing.com and typed in hobbies. It sounds pretty ridiculous but I needed ideas. Next thing I knew I found myself on a website talking about bucket lists. I too have made a bucket list, but none of them are things I can do right now. But as I looked through the list that included such things as Running with the Bulls and having dinner with a celebrity, there was one that stood out to me. Learn another language. I have always wanted to learn another language, in particular Spanish. I took 3 years in high school and 3 semesters in college and can probably only hold a conversation with a 4 year old. They say that the best way to learn another language is just to immerse your self in a country that speaks it primarily, but with my lack of funds to book a ticket to South America, I chose the second best option. Rosetta Stone.

I've seen plenty of infomercials and encountered the resellers in mall kiosks and have heard nothing but good things from people that have used it. So I decided to look into it and go for it. After deciding that I didn't want to order it online and wait for it to be delivered, I called local Border's to see if they have the version that I wanted. None of them had the levels I wanted, but one store did have the next set, so I went ahead and purchased it.

After about two hours and only now beginning Lesson 3 of Unit 1 of Disc 1 of Level 1. I purchased three levels. Level 1 has 3 units and each unit has about 4 of 5 lessons. Needless to say, I will be occupied. And I have to say, if I do learn Spanish fairly fluently, I may never speak English again.

I have no idea how long this will keep me occupied or how long I will keep up with it. Actually, scratch that, for the amount of money I cost I will keep up with it. However, even if this LDR doesn't work out how I hope it will, at least I will have learned a second language out of it. :)

Life's a Blur

So, in the past two months I graduated from college, got a job offer, rejected that job offer, got into grad school, enrolled in that grad school, spent a month in Europe, and tried to make sense of all that was going on. It's hard to believe that I'm moving on to the next phase of my life. The good thing is that I have given myself a month and a half to process it.

During my entire time at UT, I hardly ever sat down to just enjoy it and take in the fact that I was in college. That these were going to be the best four years of my life. And now it's over. I don't have any regrets, but I finally understood what people meant when they said that they would be the best four years of my life.

So now I'm moving on to graduate school in the hopes that in three years a Master's degree will not have depreciated in value like the Bachelor's has. And also so that when I apply to jobs, my application will actually be reviewed. However, I'm still not sure that in two years I'll be ready for the working world. Working M-F 8-5 year round. No more Spring Break. No more month long Christmas break. And no more summer vacation to "work" a summer job. Yet, I'm not sure if it's the idea of the working world that scares me, or the lifestyle that comes along with the working world.

Just the thought of being an adult sends my head into a tail-spin. Rent or mortgages, health insurance, car insurance, car payments, savings, 401Ks, other bills, marriage, kids, being able to afford kids, life insurance, retirement.....and so on and so on. Whenever I think of all of these future responsibilities, it reminds me to live in the moment. I've always been someone who likes to plan my future far in advance. When I got to undergrad, I had planned everything out all the way to grad school. Of course those plans changed the first semester. Now the summer before I start grad school, I have already planned out what I'll be doing and what jobs I'll be applying to when I graduate. But I think now, having flown through undergrad without taking the time to look up and around, I will really appreciate and count my blessings far more often.

~T

London

So I had intended on detailing every day of my trip here in London, however that has not nor will it happen. So I will attempt to document every few days or so.

Anyhow, I am in London studying abroad for a month with the UT Maymester program. The course is a Social Work course that focuses on Social Justice and diversity in London. I don't need it to graduate but it's an interesting course and a good reason to come to London on UT's dime.

So for starters....

The plane ride to London was hell. I mean torturous. I must say that if you ever intend on traveling abroad or plan on hopping aboard a plane for 9 hours, do yourself a favor and just save up to pay more for a business class seat. When I say that there was no leg room, I mean there was no leg room . I'm only 5'2" and I felt like I was smushed into my seat and I was even sitting on the aisle. Also, I'm pretty sure the seats reclined even less than they do on domestic flights. So it was 9 hours trying to sleep upright. But in any case I made it safely.

The first day we just went to our homestay and met our homestay parents. They have five kids ages 8-22 all living in the house, plus the three of us (my roomies and I) and the parents. Surprisingly, with 10 people in one house it's not crazy at all.

On Day 2....

Today we got to take a bus tour of London. It wasn't a red double decker bus (although that is what their city buses look like) but it was good enough. We got to see the London Eye, Tower Bridge (which most people think is London Bridge, it's not), Big Ben (which isn't as big as I thought it would be), Westminster, St. James Palace, a bunch of status, lots of churches, pubs, churches converted into pubs, and lots of other very historical buildings. London also has a number of parks which people actually use, it's quite nice. We even got to see a changing of some of the Queens guards.

Reflections

So my time here at UT has finally come to an end. It's so hard to believe that I've been here for four years already. People always say that it flies by but I never thought that it actually would. Most of my friends are excited to finally leave UT and get on with their lives. I, however, am panicking.

I applied and had an interview for a job last week and will find out later on this week if I got it. As I thought about it today I realized how unprepared I am for the real world. I have to pay for my own phone bill, insurance, find an apartment with an affordable rent, cable, water, electric, student loans, save for retirement, transportation, food, getting my hair done, taking care of my dog, taking care of myself, file my taxes, etc. While everyone else has been panicking about finals I've been panicking about why noone prepared me for this next step. Then I saw how much money Uncle Sam would be taking out of my potential paychecks I got pissed. And to make matters worse, when I saw what the average salary is for someone who works in higher ed I realized that my days of having shopping sprees at Coach and J. Crew were over.

Bye Bye reckless, selfish, irresponsible college years. It's been real.