Treading Water

So about this Grad School thing. Yea. I have begun to accept that by agreeing to go to graduate school (or at least this program) I have agreed to sign away my life and all of the fun I used to have for the next year and some change. This past weekend my Dad and Uncle came into town to bring me some stuff for my apartment and we spent a day at Universal Studios. The sad thing is that I couldn't even enjoy it because I was too busy thinking about how I was going to catch up on all of the precious reading time I was losing.

This is a far cry different from how things were this time a year ago. Even a few months ago. Family always came first. And not to say that my family still doesn't come first but things have certainly changed. It's only the 4th week of class and I am already just treading water trying to stay afloat and on top of my reading. And counting down until the end of the semester. It's even more difficult when I see my friends status updates about how much fun they're having in Austin or all of the things that they are doing and all of the FREE TIME that they have on their hands. I miss those days. I know that I shouldn't be complaining because in the end this degree will be worth it. But gosh I miss free time.

Validation

So today I had two separate chat conversations with friends about life. They both seemed to marvel at the fact that I moved out to FL on my own for grad school. Once again, I always seem to forget how things that seem little and unimpressive to me, really are impressive. Not the act of going to graduate school, but the act of moving halfway across the country for it. And driving by myself, none the less. It just reminded me what an awesome person I am.

Everyone is an awesome person in their own right and sometimes we're so busy living life that we forget to stop and take notice. So in addition to starting every day dancing in front of my member and reminding myself of everything I like about my life, I will also be reminding myself of how awesome I am. This routine will become increasingly important as I embark on the next chapter of my life, grad school.

This blog was initially meant to be about my journey through grad school but has slowly evolved into an almost tell-all. However, as my last free weekend before grad school starts I am finally starting to realize what it is that I am getting myself into. I had orientation earlier this week, and when I walked into the room I felt like I was walking into a staff meeting that I wasn't supposed to be in. Granted, the orientation was for both Doctoral and Masters students, with the majority being Doctoral, I quickly realized that this was not going to be like Undergrad. I knew that it would not be like undergrad and that I would probably be the youngest person in my cohort, but you don't believe it until you see it. In any case, I have been acting current and former grad students what to expect, as well as searching relevant forums. The gist seems to be to not let it stress me out, to make sure I set aside time for a social life, to get to know my cohort and faculty members well and to enjoy it.

I am actually really excited about being a graduate student. And although I know my innocent and naïve illusions of how much fun it will be will probably be crushed within the first few weeks, I'm going to enjoy this feeling while it lasts and remember it when I reach the point in the semester when I begin to ask myself what the hell I was thinking.