Treading Water

So about this Grad School thing. Yea. I have begun to accept that by agreeing to go to graduate school (or at least this program) I have agreed to sign away my life and all of the fun I used to have for the next year and some change. This past weekend my Dad and Uncle came into town to bring me some stuff for my apartment and we spent a day at Universal Studios. The sad thing is that I couldn't even enjoy it because I was too busy thinking about how I was going to catch up on all of the precious reading time I was losing.

This is a far cry different from how things were this time a year ago. Even a few months ago. Family always came first. And not to say that my family still doesn't come first but things have certainly changed. It's only the 4th week of class and I am already just treading water trying to stay afloat and on top of my reading. And counting down until the end of the semester. It's even more difficult when I see my friends status updates about how much fun they're having in Austin or all of the things that they are doing and all of the FREE TIME that they have on their hands. I miss those days. I know that I shouldn't be complaining because in the end this degree will be worth it. But gosh I miss free time.

22, please be good to me.

So yesterday while I was chatting with my Dad on facebook I noticed on my newsfeed it was one of my "friends" birthday. I didn't write anything, but facebook has this new contraption where whenever someone has a birthday and mutual friends right on their wall then it shows up at the top. Anywho, that is not what I want to write about. It was her post that status that caught my attention. It said, "21 was a great year, I know 22 will be even better." Now she's not the first of my friends to post a status like this but now that I've been 22 for a little over a month now, I thought about my 21st year. And you know what? It was absolutely terrible.

I should have known that my 21st year wasn't going to be a good one by the way it started out. Actually, I think subconsciously I knew, but was in denial. So let's start with the low points and then hopefully end on a positive note.

So the lows started when half of my so-called friends that said they were going to come out for my birthday didn't. And honestly I still haven't really let it go, obviously. But I greatly appreciate my friends that did. :) Then my birthday night happened and my bf at the time tried to leave and go home which pissed me off, then later on the next day we got into another tiff and needless to say our relationship ended that weekend. Fast forward a few months and I was denied from TFA, denied from 3 of the grad schools I applied to except for one. Got stranded at the Philly airport and had to drive 5 hours to one of the grad school interviews, that later rejected me and then  my mom, got deployed.

Now the positives. I met a really great guy who I thought was the love of my life. I got into grad school. I graduated from undergrad. I studied abroad in London and even got to spend a weekend in Paris visiting a friend. And  I turned 22. Not super excited about being 22, but blessed to see another year.

Now since I've been 22, I've been dumped and had to deal with being in a new place without his emotional support. But I'm still alive! And I got a graduate assistantship, I got to go backstage at a concert, I enjoy my classes so far, and I have a pretty cool mentor. Needless to say it's been ok.

There were a lot of great things that happened in the past year, but unfortunately the bad things seem to outweigh the good ones. So now that I only have 11 more months to be 22 I am pretty much begging that 22 be a little bit more kind than 21.