Friendship

"Don't pity the girl with one true friend. Envy her. Pity the girl with just a thousand acquaintances." -Katie Obenchain

I came across this quote while I was in a bit of a funk, and I think it really describes my life. I've always had very few true friends (I like it that way). I think this has a lot to do with being a military child and watching my friends come and go every few years so I cherished the ones that were always there for me. Then after a really bad betrayal by one of my best friends in high school, I found myself having more acquaintences for some time because of the lack of trust I had for people. However since being in school I have since regained some very close friends who I consider my sisters, both of which I have known since middle school. But then I started thinking about the true friends that I had gained since being in college. At first I wasn't sure if I had any because I had found a way to isolate myself while being here. I'm not saying that I was a hermit and didn't talk to anyone on campus, I am involved in various orgs on campus, but I have managed to keep my personal life fairly hidden. I think a lot of this has to do with being an out-of-state student with the idea that I was only going to be here for four years and then I'd leave. That was my intention. But then I realized that I have made quite a few life long friends since I've been here. I'm not saying 20, 30, or even 40. Actually less than 10 who I would consider true, ride-or-die, hold my hair while I'm puking, bail me out of jail friends. And I like it that way. 

I like being able to call up Courtney right after class to make a trip to Pappadeaux's for crawfish or Jasmine at 2a to make an "emergency" trip. Or call Joe or Victoria crying about my latest relationship drama. Or have Sam carry me home because I have underestimated the effects of the screwdriver I drank. And I love the fact that I still have such an amazing friendship with my very first roommate Muneezeh and she can answer any question I have ranging from fashion to politics 

They have all been there for me when I needed them most and for that I am eternally grateful to have such QUALITY friends. 

Standards of Beauty

Is the Black woman considered beautiful and desireable anymore?

While flipping through channels, I landed on Las Vegas. I'd heard of the show but never watched it. One of the main characters is a Black man who married a Brown woman one drunken night. Granted the circumstances weren't idea and she was quite beautiful, it got me thinking. Will there be a time when Black women will be fated to be single for all of their lives. 

With the exception of my Dad and a few of my Uncles, the men in my familly and many of my male friends seem to have a case of jungle fever. I don't have a problem with interracial dating but I will be the first to admit that I do get annoyed and somewhat disappointed whenever I see a Black man walking down the street with his non-Black partner. And apparently a lot of it has to do with their preferences in women. Light skinned, long hair, light eyes. AkA Not Black. Now there are a few Black women who do look like this, but maybe I should emphasize A FEW. It just makes it harder on the rest of us Black Women to try to live up to these ideals.

Why is your hair so short? Oh I don't know. Maybe my hair wasn't designd to go all down my back, or maybe I like short hair. Why don't you wear color contacts? You'd be real pretty with lighter eyes. Well maybe I like my eye color and don't think I should have to go around deceiving people in order to be more attractive. 

And I won't even begin to get into body ideals. 

I guess my main point is, just be real. If the ideal woman you're describing sounds like a white girl. It's probably a white girl. Don't say you like black women and then make all these stipulations. I mean it's good to have standards, but come on. 

That's all I have for now.